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define('DISALLOW_FILE_MODS', true);{"id":699,"date":"2010-03-29T00:38:26","date_gmt":"2010-03-29T05:38:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mascotwedding.com\/?p=699"},"modified":"2010-03-31T22:54:09","modified_gmt":"2010-04-01T03:54:09","slug":"the-sport-of-blood-mascot-wedding-and-master-pancake-mock-bloodsport-april-7th","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/mascotwedding.com\/?p=699","title":{"rendered":"The Sport of Blood: Mascot Wedding and Master Pancake Mock Bloodsport April 7th!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a><img class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/i28.photobucket.com\/albums\/c207\/runawayvan\/bloodsport-jean-claudevandamme.jpg\" border=\"0\" alt=\"Photobucket\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>You know what there aren\u2019t enough of? Tournament movies. These days, movies only have one dude against another dude; or worse, one dude against his self-confidence, and instead of ripping self-confidence\u2019s throat out and winning a kickass trophy, he just sorta tries his best at the piano recital and gets a hug from his mom. Noooo! I want <em>tournaments<\/em>. The ones with a giant bracket and a professional emcee and those early-round generic competitors, like the psychotic and possibly flamboyantly gay guy, the morbidly obese guy who has no business being in any sort of tournament that doesn\u2019t involve pie, and the one guy who kills another guy just to let the hero know that this shit just got real. Dammit, now I want this movie to exist.<\/p>\n<p>OH WAIT, BUT IT DOES. It\u2019s called <em>Bloodsport<\/em>, and it stars Jean-Claude Van Damme and it is amazing! In fact, the only thing that would make it more amazing is if some dudes used their voices to make the movie funny. OH SHIT, SON! THAT EXISTS, TOO!<\/p>\n<p>Mac and David of Mascot Wedding are joining with Master Pancake Wednesday, April 7th, for a ONE NIGHT ONLY mocking of <em>Bloodsport<\/em>. We\u2019ve only done this show one other time, so this doesn\u2019t come around very often. Buy your tickets now and come enjoy a special screening of the movie where there are no rules\u2026 except for three rules. And they\u2019re not very good ones, either, because \u201cdon\u2019t kill\u201d isn\u2019t one of the rules. It wouldn\u2019t be such a big deal either if there wasn\u2019t that one dickhead who took advantage of the loophole.<\/p>\n<p>Showtimes and tickets at <a href=\"http:\/\/www.originalalamo.com\/Show.aspx?id=6005\">OriginalAlamo.com<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You know what there aren\u2019t enough of? Tournament movies. These days, movies only have one dude against another dude; or worse, one dude against his self-confidence, and instead of ripping self-confidence\u2019s throat out and winning a kickass trophy, he just sorta tries his best at the piano recital and gets a hug from his mom. &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/mascotwedding.com\/?p=699\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">The Sport of Blood: Mascot Wedding and Master Pancake Mock Bloodsport April 7th!<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false},"categories":[14,12],"tags":[185,15],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1FDCv-bh","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/mascotwedding.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/699"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/mascotwedding.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/mascotwedding.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/mascotwedding.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/mascotwedding.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=699"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"http:\/\/mascotwedding.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/699\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":712,"href":"http:\/\/mascotwedding.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/699\/revisions\/712"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/mascotwedding.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=699"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/mascotwedding.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=699"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/mascotwedding.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=699"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}