You know how you love going to the movies? And remember how you used to love playing with toys? Well, imagine if something out there could somehow manage to ruin both experiences for you. Surely science and simple human good would never allow such a thing to exist. Or, even if it did exist, surely it would be buried where no one would ever see it, like the 5 dollar bin at Wal-Mart or the darkest recesses of your soul.
But it exists. And it made Michael Bay bulletproof. And Shia LeBeouf a star. And Megan Fox relevant. And it made more money than you can count in three lifetimes. Christ, I’m sad just typing that.
Wipe your tears, lovers of all that is good, and get ready for the ultimate payback! Starting January 29th, Mascot Wedding will be joining forces with Master Pancake Theater to annihilate the loudest and dumbest movie of all time: Transformers. Now is your chance to actually sit back and enjoy this stupid thing while the best mockers in the business point all the plotholes and cringeworthy moments that made you physically angry the first time. Get your tickets while you can, because once these shows are over we’re dropping our DVD copies in the deepest part of the ocean.
Showtimes and tickets at OriginalAlamo.com