First, the bad news: There will be no Mascot Wedding radio show this weekend.
Now, the good news: You’ll still have opportunities to spend time with Mac and David this Saturday… and Monday??
This Saturday is the final night of Mac and David sitting in with Master Pancake for its run of ROAD HOUSE shows at the Alamo Drafthouse Ritz. If you haven’t seen this show yet, hoo boy, you’re missing out on a very fun show. This movie has everything – oily men, feathered mullets, and rock-hard 80s boobs. And then you’re gonna throw Master Pancake’s quality mocking skills on top of that? Brother, how can that lose? Two shows Saturday at 7pm and 10pm. Tickets available here.
And then, this coming Monday, Mac and David are back together with Master Pancake for a very special secret show at the Alamo Drafthouse Village. How secret? So secret that we can’t even tell you what it is! All we can tell you is that it features child stars, a powerful glove, and all 97 games. One night only, one showing only – Monday at 7pm at Alamo Village – and only three bucks! Plus, special guest mocker David McQuary! Tickets on sale here.
![I used to [friend] guys like you in prison.](http://mascotwedding.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/roadhouse.jpg)
Do you hear that? The sound of a man’s throat being ripped out in the moonlight waters of Missouri? That’s ROAD HOUSE, baby. Mascot Wedding is once again joining up with Master Pancake Theater to mock the Patrick Swayze classic, Road House. Road House is the story of Dalton (Swayze), the best damn Cooler in the business. If you don’t know what a Cooler is, it’s middle management at a bar. But when Dalton accepts the job of cleaning up shitty blues-rock bar, the Double Deuce, will he — fucking who gives a shit — it’s Road House, man! It’s a logic-defying, late 80s, action movie destined to run on cable TV long after our deaths.
Our first shows were actually last weekend (wewps), but you’ll have plenty more chances to catch John Erler, David, and Mac make fun of one of the most awfulsome movies ever.
Bad news though, there will be no MWS this Saturday due to Road Housin’.
All shows at the downtown Alamo Drafthouse Ritz. Nov 16, 17, 24, and Dec 8. Two shows each night. Tickets and times right here.
Five years ago Mascot Wedding had its first collaboration with Master Pancake Theater. Over 100 shows later, John Erler, Joe Parsons, David, and Mac have reteamed to make fun of the sword and sorcery sex-epic that started it all, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s 1982 Conan the Barbarian. All of last week’s shows sold the eff out, so buying your tickets early is a really smart idea. Two shows Friday, two Saturday and that’s it.
As for the show itself? C’mon, it’s Ahnuldt chopping up, sleeping with, and yelling at everything that crosses his path. Seriously, this movie has like 9 beheadings, 4 sex scenes, and one future governor. It’s great! The only downside is that there will not be a Mascot Wedding Show on KOOP this Saturday.
Stag Comedy, Master Pancake Theater, Hot Property, and Mac Blake stand-up are all in action this month. Plus a Mascot Wedding first, an awesome new improv show, and all the details on our Out of Bounds appearances. Continue reading »
UPDATE: VIDEO JUKEBOXX SHOW STILL ON. FORGET WHAT I SAID EARLIER. SEE YOU ESKIMOS THERE.
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Mascot Wedding is doing a lot of different live shows this month, 14 I believe, at various Austin venues and we recorded a micro-podcast to talk about it.
Do not forget, this is TONIGHT:
++Master Pancake Video Jukeboxx II
The movie-mocking formula of Master Pancake gets applied to a whole mess of music videos by a whole mess of comedians, including me + Jara. I won’t tell you what video we’re doing, but it’s pretty great.
TONIGHT 10PM @Alamo Ritz Downtown Tix here.
Stag Comedy @ Coldtowne
++Stag Comedy at Coldtowne Theater
We’re bringing our awesome Episode 3 show to Coldtowne Theater on Thursday nights. You’re going to have 3 chances to check it out this month. Seriously folks, this show gets better every time we do it. If you’ve already seen it, it’s worth $5 to see it in friendly + intimate confines of Coldtowne.
Feb 3, 10, 17 @ 10PM. Only $5! Tix+Info here.
++Master Pancake Theater: Robocop
Or Robot-Cop, as I call it. This is a show we’ve done only once two years ago. It went super great and we’ve been hoping to bring it back ever since. Wish granted!
Last two weekends in February, Fridays + Saturdays. Tix and times here.
++Stag Comedy @ Mi Casa es Su Teatro
Mi Casa es Su Teatro is a part of Frontera Fest where shows take place in people’s homes. Man, when is Austin ever gonna grow up and get a haircut, amirite? But seriously, this is gonna be a lot of fun. Expect a best-of show from the Stag Comedy crew.
Feb 5 3:45PM @ 6213 Boxcar Run. Tix are $3
++Hot Property
The sketch-prov collaboration between David & Mac and Nick Ramirez & Lance Gilstrap of Midnight Society will be performing some all new sketch material as part of a larger show put on by Austin sketch team Turn of the Century Paris.
Details are (don’t say sketchy… don’t say sketchy) vague at the moment, but we do know the show is going to be February 12.
++Master Pancake Video Jukeboxx II
The movie-mocking formula of Master Pancake gets applied to a whole mess of music videos by a whole mess of comedians, including me + Jara.
Feb 2 10PM @Alamo Ritz Downtown Tix here.
Hey everybody, here are your chances to see members of Mascot Wedding live in December so you can steal a lock of our hair for cloning purposes (yes, just like in Superman IV: The Quest for Peace).
++ Wednesday, Dec 1: Master Pancake Theater: Lord of the Rings. A benefit for KOOP radio! David and myself will be making fun of The Fellowship of the Ring alongside John Erler and Joe Parsons. All proceeds are going to our beloved KOOP Radio. Buy tickets he- wait, what? It’s already sold out? Then why mention it, unless I’m just a braggart? Ohhhhhh. 10 PM @ Alamo Ritz Downtown.
++Dec 3+4: Jonathan Pace w/ Chad Warren and Mac Blake. Come see me do some stand-up at the Velveeta Room. Jonathan Pace is your headliner, Chad Warren features, and I’ll be doing jokes right at the beginning while you’re getting your drink. Two shows each night, 9:30 and 11:30. Tix are $5 at the door.
++Dec 13: Hot Property @ the Monday Night Mash. December 13 is the birthday of Nick Ramirez from Midnight Society. So it’s a Nick-centric night of comedy at Coldtowne Theater. Lucky for us, David and myself get to work with the talented Mr. Ramirez and his partner Lance Gilstrap in the sketch-prov group Hot Property. 8:30 PM @ Coldtowne Theater w/ Midnight Society and Gang Bang. FREE show.
++Dec 18: Stag Comedy @ Salvage Vanguard Theater. Did you miss Stag Comedy’s last sold-out performance at the Alamo Ritz? I’m super mad at you but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume it’s because you were waiting to see us in a more intimate setting. Now’s your chance as Stag Comedy will be doing an encore performance of Episode 3 at SVT @ 5 PM. Tickets aren’t available yet, but when they are, expect a post here, on our Facebook page, and also probably on David’s twitter. The dude tweets.
They don't know it yet, but the aliens just stepped to this.
You have your own July 4th traditions I’m sure. Personally, I used to celebrate by finding a limey, boxing his ears and stealing the gold coin that’s underneath his powdered wig. However, David and myself have spent the last two Independence Days at the Downtown Alamo Ritz making fun of (what else) Roland Emmerich’s 1996 B-list parade Independence Day along with Master Pancake Theater. This is the landmark film that proved alien computers are Macintosh compatible.
These shows are always a lot of fun. You gather with your fellow freedom enthusiasts and watch Will Smith blow shit up. Pretty great! The only downside is I’ll be out of town, so David, Joe and John will have to make double sure that our colors don’t run (right?).
Seriously folks, these shows are super fun. You got 5 chances to see it this weekend. Tix and showtimes here. These shows will sell-out!
BTW: As a result there will be not be a Mascot Wedding Show on KOOP this Saturday.
You know what there aren’t enough of? Tournament movies. These days, movies only have one dude against another dude; or worse, one dude against his self-confidence, and instead of ripping self-confidence’s throat out and winning a kickass trophy, he just sorta tries his best at the piano recital and gets a hug from his mom. Noooo! I want tournaments. The ones with a giant bracket and a professional emcee and those early-round generic competitors, like the psychotic and possibly flamboyantly gay guy, the morbidly obese guy who has no business being in any sort of tournament that doesn’t involve pie, and the one guy who kills another guy just to let the hero know that this shit just got real. Dammit, now I want this movie to exist.
OH WAIT, BUT IT DOES. It’s called Bloodsport, and it stars Jean-Claude Van Damme and it is amazing! In fact, the only thing that would make it more amazing is if some dudes used their voices to make the movie funny. OH SHIT, SON! THAT EXISTS, TOO!
Mac and David of Mascot Wedding are joining with Master Pancake Wednesday, April 7th, for a ONE NIGHT ONLY mocking of Bloodsport. We’ve only done this show one other time, so this doesn’t come around very often. Buy your tickets now and come enjoy a special screening of the movie where there are no rules… except for three rules. And they’re not very good ones, either, because “don’t kill” isn’t one of the rules. It wouldn’t be such a big deal either if there wasn’t that one dickhead who took advantage of the loophole.
Showtimes and tickets at OriginalAlamo.com
You know how you love going to the movies? And remember how you used to love playing with toys? Well, imagine if something out there could somehow manage to ruin both experiences for you. Surely science and simple human good would never allow such a thing to exist. Or, even if it did exist, surely it would be buried where no one would ever see it, like the 5 dollar bin at Wal-Mart or the darkest recesses of your soul.
But it exists. And it made Michael Bay bulletproof. And Shia LeBeouf a star. And Megan Fox relevant. And it made more money than you can count in three lifetimes. Christ, I’m sad just typing that.
Wipe your tears, lovers of all that is good, and get ready for the ultimate payback! Starting January 29th, Mascot Wedding will be joining forces with Master Pancake Theater to annihilate the loudest and dumbest movie of all time: Transformers. Now is your chance to actually sit back and enjoy this stupid thing while the best mockers in the business point all the plotholes and cringeworthy moments that made you physically angry the first time. Get your tickets while you can, because once these shows are over we’re dropping our DVD copies in the deepest part of the ocean.
Showtimes and tickets at OriginalAlamo.com
