Hey everybody, here are your chances to see members of Mascot Wedding live in December so you can steal a lock of our hair for cloning purposes (yes, just like in Superman IV: The Quest for Peace).
++ Wednesday, Dec 1: Master Pancake Theater: Lord of the Rings. A benefit for KOOP radio! David and myself will be making fun of The Fellowship of the Ring alongside John Erler and Joe Parsons. All proceeds are going to our beloved KOOP Radio. Buy tickets he- wait, what? It’s already sold out? Then why mention it, unless I’m just a braggart? Ohhhhhh. 10 PM @ Alamo Ritz Downtown.
++Dec 3+4: Jonathan Pace w/ Chad Warren and Mac Blake. Come see me do some stand-up at the Velveeta Room. Jonathan Pace is your headliner, Chad Warren features, and I’ll be doing jokes right at the beginning while you’re getting your drink. Two shows each night, 9:30 and 11:30. Tix are $5 at the door.
++Dec 13: Hot Property @ the Monday Night Mash. December 13 is the birthday of Nick Ramirez from Midnight Society. So it’s a Nick-centric night of comedy at Coldtowne Theater. Lucky for us, David and myself get to work with the talented Mr. Ramirez and his partner Lance Gilstrap in the sketch-prov group Hot Property. 8:30 PM @ Coldtowne Theater w/ Midnight Society and Gang Bang. FREE show.
++Dec 18: Stag Comedy @ Salvage Vanguard Theater. Did you miss Stag Comedy’s last sold-out performance at the Alamo Ritz? I’m super mad at you but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume it’s because you were waiting to see us in a more intimate setting. Now’s your chance as Stag Comedy will be doing an encore performance of Episode 3 at SVT @ 5 PM. Tickets aren’t available yet, but when they are, expect a post here, on our Facebook page, and also probably on David’s twitter. The dude tweets.
You have your own July 4th traditions I’m sure. Personally, I used to celebrate by finding a limey, boxing his ears and stealing the gold coin that’s underneath his powdered wig. However, David and myself have spent the last two Independence Days at the Downtown Alamo Ritz making fun of (what else) Roland Emmerich’s 1996 B-list parade Independence Day along with Master Pancake Theater. This is the landmark film that proved alien computers are Macintosh compatible.
These shows are always a lot of fun. You gather with your fellow freedom enthusiasts and watch Will Smith blow shit up. Pretty great! The only downside is I’ll be out of town, so David, Joe and John will have to make double sure that our colors don’t run (right?).
Seriously folks, these shows are super fun. You got 5 chances to see it this weekend. Tix and showtimes here. These shows will sell-out!
BTW: As a result there will be not be a Mascot Wedding Show on KOOP this Saturday.
You know what there aren’t enough of? Tournament movies. These days, movies only have one dude against another dude; or worse, one dude against his self-confidence, and instead of ripping self-confidence’s throat out and winning a kickass trophy, he just sorta tries his best at the piano recital and gets a hug from his mom. Noooo! I want tournaments. The ones with a giant bracket and a professional emcee and those early-round generic competitors, like the psychotic and possibly flamboyantly gay guy, the morbidly obese guy who has no business being in any sort of tournament that doesn’t involve pie, and the one guy who kills another guy just to let the hero know that this shit just got real. Dammit, now I want this movie to exist.
OH WAIT, BUT IT DOES. It’s called Bloodsport, and it stars Jean-Claude Van Damme and it is amazing! In fact, the only thing that would make it more amazing is if some dudes used their voices to make the movie funny. OH SHIT, SON! THAT EXISTS, TOO!
Mac and David of Mascot Wedding are joining with Master Pancake Wednesday, April 7th, for a ONE NIGHT ONLY mocking of Bloodsport. We’ve only done this show one other time, so this doesn’t come around very often. Buy your tickets now and come enjoy a special screening of the movie where there are no rules… except for three rules. And they’re not very good ones, either, because “don’t kill” isn’t one of the rules. It wouldn’t be such a big deal either if there wasn’t that one dickhead who took advantage of the loophole.
You know how you love going to the movies? And remember how you used to love playing with toys? Well, imagine if something out there could somehow manage to ruin both experiences for you. Surely science and simple human good would never allow such a thing to exist. Or, even if it did exist, surely it would be buried where no one would ever see it, like the 5 dollar bin at Wal-Mart or the darkest recesses of your soul.
But it exists. And it made Michael Bay bulletproof. And Shia LeBeouf a star. And Megan Fox relevant. And it made more money than you can count in three lifetimes. Christ, I’m sad just typing that.
Wipe your tears, lovers of all that is good, and get ready for the ultimate payback! Starting January 29th, Mascot Wedding will be joining forces with Master Pancake Theater to annihilate the loudest and dumbest movie of all time: Transformers. Now is your chance to actually sit back and enjoy this stupid thing while the best mockers in the business point all the plotholes and cringeworthy moments that made you physically angry the first time. Get your tickets while you can, because once these shows are over we’re dropping our DVD copies in the deepest part of the ocean.
April, 2008. Man, those were the days. Fox Television made us feel foolish for thinking we could dance. A young man named Barack packed everything he owned into an old detergent box and started a journey that began in his homeland of Kenya and led him all the way to the White House. And Master Pancake Theater teamed up with Mac and David of Mascot Wedding to mock the 1982 classic E.T. What? You don’t remember?? You missed it?! Jesus. I don’t… it’s just that… you sicken me. There, I said it.
But guess what? Now’s your chance to totally redeem yourself. Mascot Wedding and Master Pancake are together again! And we’re bringing E.T. back to life, so that we may kill him with insults for your entertainment dollar! That’s right — this month we’re doing an encore performance of our killer E.T. show for THREE WEEKENDS ONLY. After that, it’s gone faster than your childlike sense of wonder when you found out E.T. wasn’t real. So get your tickets now while you still can, and come watch us eviscerate your favorite cuddly alien/Spielberg movie/wrinkly ball-sac puppet.
Do you love freedom but have a crippling fear of fireworks? Are you allergic to barbecue? Did you settle out of court with your local public pool because of that unfortunate “shirtless discrimination” case? Then we have just the thing for your 4th of July holiday!
This weekend only, July 3rd-5th, Mac and David of Mascot Wedding will be joining Master Pancake Theater to obliterate the 1996 “classic” Independence Day at the Alamo Drafthouse Ritz. This is an encore presentation of last year’s sold-out shows.
This show is running for ONE WEEKEND ONLY. Get your tickets while you can, because it’s only a matter of time before actual aliens come and destroy us all. Then you’re really gonna feel like a real shit for missing this show.
Hey folks. This weekend is your last chance to catch Mascot Wedding’s David and Mac as they join forces with John and Joe of Master Pancake Theater to mock Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, downtown at the Alamo Ritz. These shows will sell-out so getting your tickets sooner would be wise.
There’s also an exclusive video from Mascot Wedding running before the show. Unless your love of the halfling’s leaf has slowed your mind, it’s obvious these last shows are gonna be hot hot hot. You don’t believe me? Maybe this image of Joe will convince you.
Mac and David have joined forces with Master Pancake Theater to present a thorough and severe mocking of Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. If you hate the LOTR trilogy, come watch David squeal with girlish delight as he eviscerates one of the movies on his own personal Enemies List. If you love the LOTR trilogy, come on down and have your mind blown by how much better the movie is by removing half of it and putting jokes over the “action.” Plus, there’s a bitchin’ skit by the MP/MW crew, and a special video presentation featuring some familiar Mascot Wedding faces. This can’t lose! It shan’t lose!
This show will only be around for two more weekends before it’s gone forever, so get your tickets now at the Alamo Drafthouse website.
David Jara and Mac Blake are once again teaming up with Master Pancake Theater, this time to mock Jean-Claude Van Damme’s Bloodsport. This is a one night only show. So come on out this Wednesday to the Alamo Ritz. Tix here.
Mascot Wedding’s Mac and David are once again joining forces with Master Pancake Theater’s John and Joe. This time, the boys will be showing and mocking Roland Emmerich’s Independence Day, starring Will Smith, Jeff Goldblum, Bill Pullman and a veritable Who’s That? of stars. Starting July 4th, this is going to be a limited two-week run so don’t delay in seeing this classic celebration of blowing shit up and American ass-kicking. We heard this movie never leaves Toby Keith’s DVD player and with good reason. Continue reading MW and Master Pancake Theater Annihilate Independence Day + Radio News